1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,970
This is all Aunt Pat left you?
  A box of junk?

2
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,338
        This isn't junk.

3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,775
These are things that belonged
to your great-great-grandfather.

4
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:12,411
 Looks like a box of old tools.

5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,014
It's turn-of-the-century
mining equipment.

6
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:17,983
            Old, obsolete tools.

7
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:21,720
Just think, Lynn.
Someday all this will be yours.

8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,523
             Pass.

9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,826
Come on. This is part
of our ancestral heritage.

10
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:31,497
You can't put a dollar value
on something like that.

11
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,799
       I can. Two bucks.

12
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,536
My great-grandfather,
Silas Tanner

13
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,738
was a pioneer,
he was an adventurer.

14
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:44,009
The last four years of his life,
he prospected for gold.

15
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,779
    Doesn't look like he was
    very good at it.

16
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:50,115
 You know, my great-uncle
 Louie Louie was a prospector.

17
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:54,586
 He started the Great Foam Rush
 of aught eight.

18
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,688
            - Foam?
            - Yeah.

19
00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,392
Our whole monetary system
was based on the foam standard.

20
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,796
Louie Louie became very stupid.

21
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:06,432
   So it runs in the family.

22
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,600
          Oh, ha, ha.

23
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,136
     For your information,
     on Melmac

24
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:15,407
"stupid" was slang
   for someone who was rich.

25
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,142
    I guess we'll never know
    how stupid

26
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,844
   my great-grandfather was.

27
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:23,949
He died in 1897, and this is all
I have left of his legacy.

28
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,485
       Look what I found
       in the canteen.

29
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:30,022
What? Look. It's a map.

30
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:31,757
Uh.. There's an X on it.

31
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,093
[gasps]
It's a treasure map.

32
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,997
   Gadzooks!
   We're going to be stupid.

33
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,835
         [theme music]

34
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,796
      [instrumental music]

35
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,901
         Well, according to this
         old claim record

36
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:52,271
this must be a map
              of Waucoba Canyon

37
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,573
         that's in Death Valley.

38
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:57,442
Well, that must be
where the treasure is.

39
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,845
What makes you so sure
there's a treasure?

40
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:04,349
  The X on the map.
  That always means treasure.

41
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,919
   Don't you watch cartoons?

42
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:10,322
Life doesn't imitate cartoons.

43
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,759
Well, other people's
lives don't.

44
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,194
 But Kate, Lynn, look at this.

45
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:18,096
      Silas has pinpointed
      an exact location.

46
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,299
      These are very
      detailed directions

47
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:23,202
on how to get to a
      very specific spot.

48
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,172
 Willie, I think you're making
 a little bit too much

49
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,007
        out of this map.

50
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,878
Alright. Count her out.
We'll divide the gold four ways.

51
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,846
Unless we can get rid
of the kid.

52
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,716
You're not getting rid
of any kid

53
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,384
and there is no gold.

54
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,987
  I don't think we should rule
  that out entirely.

55
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,323
   A-about the gold, I mean.

56
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,558
   We gotta do this, Willie.

57
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,227
   Now, I'll have to check my
   calendar

58
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,829
     but I'm pretty sure
I'm free next weekend.

59
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,800
  Wait, wait, wait.
  That's a three-day weekend.

60
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,735
     We were supposed to go
     to San Diego.

61
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,671
Okay. She's out too.
It's down to three.

62
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,040
Unless we can still get
rid of the kid.

63
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,377
        What do you say?

64
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:08,413
  The desert, it would be
  a refreshing change of pace.

65
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:12,985
We've been to San Diego Zoo.
We've been to SeaWorld.

66
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:15,988
     Yeah. We've seen the killer
     whales three times

67
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:18,657
          and they still haven't
          killed anyone.

68
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,125
What a gyp.

69
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,028
What do you think, Kate?

70
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:26,798
 Why would Silas go back to the
 desert year after year

71
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,268
 unless he had found something
 valuable out there?

72
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,770
      Well, if he did find
      something valuable

73
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,039
       why was he buried
       in a piano crate?

74
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:37,709
  Maybe he was fat.
  Did you ever think of that?

75
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,112
   I can't help it. I just--

76
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,514
  It's like
  I hear his spirit calling me

77
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:47,352
   "Willie, go get it. Gold.
   Give my life some worth."

78
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,088
         Okay, Willie.

79
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,924
And-and with the money,
    we'll buy a farm

80
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:56,628
   and we'll build a baseball
   diamond in our field of corn.

81
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,864
And maybe Shoeless Joe Jackson--

82
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,999
Alright. Alright.

83
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,402
But, look, wouldn't it be
educational for the kids?

84
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:06,505
Wouldn't it be getting in touch
with our ancestral roots?

85
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,440
      What about it, kids?

86
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,808
I don't know, Dad.

87
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,377
     I'd be more interested
     if we had ancestors

88
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:15,647
      in, oh, say, Aspen.

89
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,183
Look, if you and ALF really want
to go, then go

90
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,353
 but I'm not gonna spend three
days in the desert with a baby.

91
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,955
You wouldn't have to. We could
book a cabin in the mountains.

92
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,525
They're close by.
And here's the kicker

93
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,995
you could have a weekend
without ALF.

94
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,832
       Do they rent those cabins
       by the month?

95
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,470
   Was that a shot at me?
   I wasn't paying attention.

96
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,506
     Okay. Alright. It's a deal.

97
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,808
           If you agree to spend

98
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,076
        the last day of the trip
        with me and the kids.

99
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,011
        There's no need to waste
        the entire weekend.

100
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,780
Two days would be fine.

101
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,483
Great. I'll order the dynamite.

102
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,255
      [instrumental music]

103
00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,225
¶ Oh my darling oh my darling ¶

104
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:03,195
  ¶ Oh my darling Clementine ¶

105
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:06,631
       ¶ You are lost
       and gone forever ¶

106
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,935
 ¶ Dreadful sorry Clementine ¶¶

107
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,972
Willie, I don't feel right about

108
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,108
leaving you
at the end of this dead-end road

109
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,910
         in the middle of this
         godforsaken wilderness.

110
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,345
               Don't ask me why.

111
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:24,015
We've got a tent, food, water.
We'll be fine.

112
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,084
       You've also got an alien.

113
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,987
Trust me. I'm really
looking forward to this.

114
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:32,023
Imagine.
The area is virtually unchanged

115
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:36,962
 since Silas Tanner
 lived here over 90 years ago.

116
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,530
       I love what he did
       with the place.

117
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,666
       Isn't it exciting?

118
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,201
Imagine, your great-grandfather

119
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,138
    might have sat
    right on that very rock.

120
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:49,207
      Oh, you're gonna come back
      with stories.

121
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,409
Listen, you guys.

122
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:54,613
  Your great-great-grandfather
  lived two miles

123
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:59,351
two miles...out there somewhere.

124
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,454
That's great, Dad.

125
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:05,023
Mom, does the hotel have a pool?

126
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:08,193
You guys better get going
before it gets any hotter.

127
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,795
        It gets hotter?

128
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:16,134
     - Bye. Bye, ALF.
     - Hey. Wait up. Don't.

129
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,906
      [instrumental music]

130
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:29,147
        Are you sure
        this is the right place?

131
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,017
According to the map,
we went through Dead Man's Gorge

132
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,019
we climbed up Dead Man's Bluff

133
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,788
we turned left
at Dead Man's Canyon

134
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,057
so by process of elimination

135
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:42,427
this has got to be
Dead Man's Rock.

136
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:45,197
  What is it about this place
that gives me the creeps?

137
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:47,699
           [panting]

138
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,201
         I'm exhausted.

139
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,705
              ALF.

140
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,675
 ALF, these canteens are empty.

141
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,710
What did you do with the water?

142
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,245
          I drank it.

143
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,581
           All of it?

144
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,684
            What's the big deal?

145
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,954
   You've got a whole desert out
   here, for heaven's sake.

146
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,857
There's no water in the desert.

147
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,393
There's no water in the desert?

148
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,062
      What was I thinking?

149
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,198
             Ocean.

150
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,636
  So you're saying this water
  thing might be a problem?

151
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,274
Only if you consider
      dying a problem.

152
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:35,914
 Well, here's another fine mess
 you've gotten us into.

153
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,617
          [ALF sighs]

154
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,119
      [instrumental music]

155
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,290
       Hey! Hey! Hey!
       Save some for me.

156
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:48,426
I can't believe it.

157
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,061
I can't believe
you'd leave us stranded

158
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,630
here in the desert
without any water.

159
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:55,667
Oh, I thought we were past that.
I said I was sorry.

160
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:59,037
 Would it help if I pounded my
 thumb with a sharp rock?

161
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,008
Here you are.

162
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,143
 Sorry. The moment has passed.

163
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,648
  Just read me the map.
What does it say to do next?

164
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:14,152
 Alright. It says to stand at
 the center of the rock base..

165
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:20,258
     '...face north
     and go three paces..'

166
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,629
      '...then turn and go
      three paces east.'

167
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,599
      Come on. Chop-chop.

168
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,670
       - Now what?
       - Well, that's it.

169
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,606
   Whatever old Silas buried
   is right there.

170
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,777
I'd be excited
if I weren't so hot

171
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,612
and queasy and dehydrated.

172
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:44,983
Don't let that spoil it for you.
Start digging.

173
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,251
       I don't suppose
       you'd like to dig

174
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,619
since I carried the backpacks

175
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,322
      and you're retaining
      most of the water.

176
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:53,291
 Hey, hey,
 he was your great-grandfather.

177
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:58,263
 You mean to say you don't plan
 on doing any work?

178
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,398
      Alright, alright.
      I'll tell you what.

179
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,134
  I'll take every third shift.

180
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,103
    Now just start digging.

181
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,310
      [instrumental music]

182
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,583
         [ALF humming]

183
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,053
            [spits]

184
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,422
You're not eating bugs, are you?

185
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,658
   That would be disgusting,
   Willie.

186
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,861
I'm merely sucking the moisture
out of them.

187
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,063
You want one?

188
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,299
          - No. No.
          - You sure?

189
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,735
    They taste a lot better
    than Kate's meatloaf

190
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,237
     and you don't have to
     drown them in ketchup.

191
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,441
    Are you sure
    this is the right spot?

192
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:47,746
 Because I-I'm hitting nothing
 but rocks here.

193
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,781
      Of course I'm sure.

194
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,349
      I'm more than sure.

195
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,752
             Uh-oh.

196
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:00,291
   I hope that was just a bug
   that went down the wrong way.

197
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,995
           Tell me what "uh-oh?"

198
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,599
Alright,
but first put down the shovel.

199
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,200
Tell me.

200
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,302
   You know,
   one day you're gonna laugh

201
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,305
   about the time you dragged
   yourself across the desert

202
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,508
      and dug a hole
      in the wrong place.

203
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:21,046
Again, I must insist
that you put down the shovel.

204
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,284
    How could you make a mistake
    like that?

205
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,187
Well, I had the map upside-down.

206
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,524
Should have gone
three paces south.

207
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,293
       You mean to say I've been
       digging for 45 minutes

208
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,495
        and it's the wrong spot?

209
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,598
     Look at the upside.
Now we have a latrine.

210
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,203
'Or better yet, a small grave.'

211
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:50,075
Alright. Relax.
Look, all you have to do

212
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,777
is move two paces to the right.

213
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,279
        - Uh, left.
        - Give me that.

214
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:01,086
   [ALF humming "I've Been
   Working On The Railroad"]

215
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,361
 Alright. That's quite enough.

216
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,764
       Fine. Music hater.

217
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,035
      Alright. Your turn.

218
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,670
      Well, hold it.
      This is a new hole.

219
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,572
     We start the rotation
     over again.

220
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,707
        [Willie groans]

221
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:26,511
  No, we haven't been through
rotation once yet.

222
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:29,814
   I-I'm not digging anymore.

223
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,649
 Willie, if Silas heard you now

224
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,786
      he'd be spinning
      in his piano crate.

225
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,588
      If he wasn't so fat.

226
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:41,760
    Listen, ALF,
    if you want to dig, dig.

227
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:43,995
          I'm through.

228
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,564
 Oh, so that's your game, huh?

229
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:50,068
   Work me to death and keep
   the treasure to yourself.

230
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,170
 You haven't done any work yet.

231
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:55,240
    Well, I'm a drone alien,
    not a worker alien.

232
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,310
       Alright. Alright.

233
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,646
      Just keep your hands
      off my bugs.

234
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,815
I know exactly
      how many there are.

235
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,252
      I'll try to refrain.

236
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,524
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

237
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,761
       - What now?
       - I got a blister.

238
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,398
        In five seconds?

239
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,201
 Hey, I worked through the pain
 as long as I could.

240
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,272
  Oh, you haven't even tried.

241
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,009
            [groans]

242
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,978
  Oh, I can't do it. I can't.

243
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,080
      I'm hot, I'm thirsty

244
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,751
I'm a little bit country,
I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll.

245
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,024
                ALF, you're hot.

246
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,526
Well, my last album
didn't go platinum

247
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,095
but Donny says not to worry.

248
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,464
    No, I mean your temperature.

249
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,466
        Of course, I should have
        realized your fur

250
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,769
     would retain all this heat.

251
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:01,506
Well, that's why you don't
find a lot of us in Miami Beach.

252
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,642
           Look. It's over, pal.

253
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,278
             Why don't you just
             go sit in the tent?

254
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,282
        Tomorrow evening, we'll,
        we'll hike out of here.

255
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:15,987
    Okay, but I need to use
    the small grave first.

256
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,856
      Turn around and hum.

257
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,598
[instrumental music]

258
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,172
              Hi, Mom. Hi, Eric.

259
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,640
Hi, kids. How was your day?

260
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,743
 It was fun. I went
 horseback riding in the woods.

261
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,612
And I fed a chipmunk.

262
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:44,015
 That's great. Pack your bags.
 We're getting out of here.

263
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,717
     Mom, they're gonna be okay.

264
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,652
           Dad knows how to
           take care of himself.

265
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,687
     No, no. I haven't felt
     good about this

266
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,955
ever since we dropped them off.

267
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,625
      Something is wrong,
      I just know it.

268
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,660
He's got ALF.

269
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,695
Pack later. Get in the car.

270
00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:01,132
      - Way to go, Brian.
      - What'd I say?

271
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,434
Mom, it's what he wanted to do.

272
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,303
      They're having fun.

273
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,205
    They're on one of those
    male-bonding things

274
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,107
that guys think are really cool.

275
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,541
Besides, we don't know
where they are

276
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,477
you can't take Eric
into the desert

277
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,146
and there's a frat party
in Cabin 12.

278
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,949
        And besides,
        maybe they'll find gold.

279
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,484
         Well, alright.

280
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:22,086
I'll be happy if they just find
their way back to the road.

281
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,488
I'm sure they will.

282
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,857
      If you need me,
      I'll be in Cabin 12.

283
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,392
            Me too.

284
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,898
      [instrumental music]

285
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,310
A June bug for your thoughts.

286
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,546
              Oh.

287
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,515
      I was just marveling
      at your ability

288
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,618
   to start a four-alarm fire
   in the desert.

289
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,054
            Desert.

290
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,725
       I was just trying
       to summon help.

291
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,995
   I saw a plane,
   so I built a signal fire.

292
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,533
   By the way,
   thanks for putting me out.

293
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,537
       You saw a vulture,
       not an airplane.

294
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,475
That vulture could be bringing
 us help as we speak.

295
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,411
      Yeah. More vultures.

296
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:26,150
    I think one of us
    has an attitude problem.

297
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:29,620
Okay, so we don't have any food,
water or shelter.

298
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,490
     But we still have air.

299
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,559
        And each other.

300
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,397
Well, we have air.

301
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,165
                     Your point?

302
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:45,403
My point is I'm sorry and
I'd like to make it up to you.

303
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,338
       I'll cook dinner.

304
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:52,410
What dinner?
The food went up with the tent!

305
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,513
     While you were sulking

306
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,783
I gathered
some miniature desert lobsters.

307
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,252
           [chuckles]

308
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,920
        Feast your eyes.

309
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,692
           [gasping]

310
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,562
              They're scorpions.

311
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,498
They were all born
in the same month?

312
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,067
What are the odds?

313
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:24,809
I should have walked to town
while I still had the strength.

314
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,844
   No. We can't give up now.

315
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,647
      We're too close
      to finding the foam.

316
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,649
  What are you talking about?

317
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:36,554
Oh, were you planning on leaving
me stranded out here to die?

318
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,589
   Oh, ALF, I think
   the heat's gotten to you.

319
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,858
You're starting to babble.

320
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,094
         Au contraire.

321
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,729
     Hey, could you go ask
     the lifeguard

322
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,831
  if it's safe to move closer
  to the water?

323
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,067
                            ALF.

324
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:52,036
And I think that couple
from Ohio stole our cooler.

325
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:57,809
   Brian, don't go out so far
   without a life preserver.

326
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,679
     Listen, ALF, tomorrow

327
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,347
     I'm gonna build a
     shelter of what's left

328
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:04,882
       of our blankets
       and sleeping bags

329
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,118
and-and you'll have some shade.

330
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,821
    And then, uh, I'll walk
the 20 or so miles

331
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,889
to town to get some help. Okay?

332
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,026
 I knew it. You're gonna let me
 stay out here and die.

333
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:17,462
  No. No. You-you'll be alright.
  I promise you.

334
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,431
I'll come back for you and we'll
come back here another weekend.

335
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,066
         Now I think we should..

336
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,035
    I think we should try to get
    some rest.

337
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,904
 Okay, but ring the front desk

338
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,240
     and leave a 6 o'clock
     wake-up call.

339
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:37,148
          [wolf howls]

340
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,750
       [shovel scraping]

341
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,154
          Give up. Ha.

342
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,589
        He must be mad.

343
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,791
Mad, I tell me, mad.

344
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,526
    No one's gonna cheat me
    out of my right

345
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,728
   to someone else's legacy.

346
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,531
          [clattering]

347
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,934
       Hey, what's this?

348
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,136
         Wooden planks!

349
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:01,439
     Yes! Yes!
     I found the treasure!

350
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:04,208
  I'm, I'm going to be stupid!

351
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,943
            [laughs]

352
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,946
           [screams]

353
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,250
        [water splashes]

354
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:16,587
    ALF. ALF, where are you?

355
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,057
          (ALF)
          'Down here.'

356
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,161
         What happened?

357
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,196
    (ALF)
    'I was looking for gold,
    but all I found'

358
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:28,466
'was this ice-cold
       Jacuzzi instead.'

359
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,935
      'I'm drowning.
      Get me out of here.'

360
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:34,071
   I-I'll go tear one of the
   sleeping bags into a rope.

361
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,907
      I'll be right back.
      Don't go away.

362
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,643
 (ALF)
 'I'll try not to wander off.'

363
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,778
      'Just my luck,
      I fall down a well'

364
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,549
'there's no townspeople around
to fight over the movie rights.'

365
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:50,154
        I was worried about you.
        I'm glad you're okay.

366
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,190
Couldn't be better.

367
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,492
   I have just one question.

368
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,961
Your grandfather buried water.

369
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,198
         Your question?

370
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,400
Well, he was an idiot, right?

371
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,369
 Well, no. He probably buried it
 to prevent anybody else

372
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,572
      from finding and using it.

373
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:12,009
Oh, I'm sorry.
He was a selfish idiot.

374
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:15,880
     Well, lucky for us, because
     now we got drinking water.

375
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,616
Uh-oh.

376
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,118
                  Oh. Not again.

377
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,987
           Afraid so.

378
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,223
 I was down there a long time,
 Willie.

379
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,892
    You couldn't have drunk
    all that water.

380
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:31,729
      No. But I did drink
      a lot of water.

381
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,631
A lot of water.

382
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,968
                     You didn't.

383
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:39,403
I wasn't known on Melmac
as the "whiz kid"

384
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,872
because of my
scholastic ability.

385
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,947
      [instrumental music]

386
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,720
Luckily, once the coyotes
got one look at ALF

387
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,589
they marked him and ran away.

388
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,925
Hey, I got them back, didn't I?

389
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:04,595
Well, I'm just glad
I followed my instincts

390
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,264
and came to get you early.

391
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,332
          - Ooh.
          - Oh, honey.

392
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:12,103
          So, Dad, are you sorry
          Great-great-grandpa

393
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,405
  turned out to be such a loser?

394
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:15,906
He wasn't a loser.

395
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,409
 He covered up a well
 to protect a piece of property

396
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:22,480
   that served no
   useful purpose whatsoever

397
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:26,417
and he felt it was important
to leave us that as his legacy.

398
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:30,488
- But he wasn't a loser, right?
- No, he wasn't.

399
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:33,524
 He was a proud,
 yet needlessly eccentric man.

400
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:36,761
   I say let's just leave
   this nightmare behind us.

401
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,462
Kate, why don't you..

402
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:41,265
Why don't you take the kids
and go on that nature hike?

403
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:44,769
  - Well, are you sure, honey?
  - We could stay, Dad.

404
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:47,605
No, I'll be fine.
Just-just leave me the ointment.

405
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:51,075
 Hey, don't worry about Willie.
 I'll take care of him.

406
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:55,146
Maybe a long hike's
just what I need.

407
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:58,149
 - Aren't you in a lot of pain?
 - I am. Let's go.

408
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,891
  Well, I have nothing to do.

409
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,860
    Guess I'll build a fire.

410
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,267
         [theme music]

411
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,992
           [laughing]